Each of us is made up of two parts, personality and individuality. Personality is the mask we wear in daily life, the self we show to the world. Personality isn’t inherently good or bad but consists of the strong habit patterns we have developed, some nice and some maybe not so nice.

Individuality is our soul spirit self. It bestows a profound sense of uniqueness to us and puts us in touch with all life. We may have a different personality than we did 15 years ago—our personality changes as we mature—but underneath the personality we are still the same since our individuality doesn’t change. Our individuality is sensitive. It guides us with hunches and feelings. It’s creative and sees life with fresh eyes, and it is active. The personality may not want to change, but individuality will move.

Although many of us don’t consciously recognize or acknowledge that we do have a specific purpose in life, our soul/subconscious mind knows what we are here for. It reaches out to us, sending messages through our dreams, intuitions, and innermost longings. This call manifests in our drives and abilities, shapes our relationships, and influences the quality and direction of our lives.

It is our soul that pushes us to move, that yearns to travel to distant lands, to study astronomy, to work with the dead and dying, to plant gardens, to study and make art. It’s our soul that pushes us on and makes us long for these other experiences in our lives. If it were up to our flesh, we would stay safe and warm and always satisfy exactly what the fleshy comfort yearnings are at any given time, whether or not that is in our best interests. The flesh will always take the path of least resistance. It is the flesh/personality that wants to stay in bed on Saturday morning instead of getting up to take that piano lesson. It is our individuality that will push us to get up.

It’s important to recognize that our body’s yearnings and our soul’s yearnings may sometimes be at cross-purposes. As we start to recognize the differences, we will see that if we are not in some way satisfying the soul’s yearning, we will eventually start to feel as if something is missing in our lives. There will be an underlying sense of dissatisfaction, and we just won’t be completely happy—no matter what outward trappings of success we may have. There are many ways to have abundance in our lives, and money is just one of them. Others are health, good friends, and a rich, spiritual life. When all is said and done, living your soul’s purpose, your life’s purpose is what will bring you the most happiness and satisfaction.

We need a personality to function in our life. Our personality navigates through the human connections we make every day and takes care of the minutiae of our daily lives. But our personality runs on automatic pilot for the most part. Our personality is the familiar identity we generally know ourselves to be in the world. It’s our habitual self. This is the side of us that has largely been acquired, copied, and learned by conditioning. It is the residence of many strengths and talents, but often in such a way that they’ve gotten stale or limited—because by and large our personality is controlled by habit. When push comes to shove, very often the personality will choose to follow the path of habit.

Individuality is the more essential self. It is the identity that has continuity after death. It is the side of us which still wants growth and development but which is committed and ready for that evolution. It is the place within us where the mission in life is clearly known and understood. And as we come to know our mission, we will see that we are constantly fine-tuning and readjusting our course as needed, just as a car or plane has to constantly do little readjustments to stay on course.

The individuality is where we get in touch with our purer, more authentic self. Daily meditation will help us get in touch with this most important part of ourselves. By giving ourselves this quiet time, we can come to truly get to know the inner self. Working with our dreams, which are messages from our souls, is another way to touch our individuality. Daily journaling and spending time in nature are additional ways to give ourselves the space to get in touch with our individuality. It’s worth taking the time and effort to get to know ourselves at this level and to meet that unique being who can bring to the world what no one else can. 

Sherry Kulakowski works and lives in Virginia Beach. You can reach her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .