In the past week, I have deactivated my Facebook account no less than fourteen times. Now, it’s not that I don’t enjoy social networking, because I do. I most certainly do. I also did not deactivate my account to keep me from getting distracted, as I did quite often in college while attempting to study for exams (unfortunately during those times, I also highly underestimated the addictive powers of Netflix, Spider Solitaire, and, well…beer). But that’s beside the point. There is another reason that I’ve been so resolute in cutting myself off from my social media outlet.

I first set up my Facebook account during my freshman year of college. Most of my friends were either in the same boat as me, or were still stuck in ‘lame-o’ high school. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles accounted for the rest of my friends. Yeah, I know. I was totally Ms. Popular back in the day. Anyway, any status or update of mine would float among similar uninteresting and self-indulgent posts: “Ugh. 8 a.m. Pscyh with Professor Boring! “Got a white chocolate mocha frap from Starbucks today!” “Game night with the roomies later!” In college, I relished in the fact that my life was just as tedious and inconsequential as everyone else’s! Thank heavens, I was not the only one who believed that getting an extra grilled cheese at the dining hall was deemed ‘newsworthy.’ However, my ignorance has recently come to an abrupt and shocking end. 

Yesterday I posted what I thought was an intriguing and fascinating status about how I spent my entire day making Halloween cupcakes. Later on, I spent close to an hour creating an event for a super-cool, super-happening Lord of the Rings marathon party that I was going to have at my parent’s house. When I logged back that night, I did not find that happy little red box ready to greet me. No, no. I was confronted with statuses such as these: “Joe finally popped the question! I’m engaged!” and “Little Hannah took her first steps today! Such a proud daddy!” “Got a big promotion today, going out to celebrate!” Needless to say, my cupcakes and LOTR party suddenly seemed not-so-cool in comparison. And so, in a self-pitying and self-indulgent rage, I decided to deactivate my Facebook until I did something with my life.

After several days, I have yet to find anything worthwhile to post. Apparently, statuses about food are just not cutting it anymore. I thought about posting a status about these adorable new shoes I scored at Plato’s Closet but then when I compare that to little Hannah’s first steps, I realize I’m probably better off keeping certain things to myself. Hmm, I think that will be my new plan: to remain mysterious. If I don’t share or post anything online, people will just assume I have better things to do. Because I do. I really do. Oh, yeah? You’re getting married? Well, I just watched an entire seven season of “How I Met Your Mother” in two days. Now THAT takes dedication.