My life has been on hold for the last four months. I won’t get into the reasons why I’ve been idling in neutral, but suffice it to say, I am now ready to forge ahead. I’m sharing this with you after the fact because I’ve learned quite a few lessons from this experience, and I’d like to share these with you.

• Money isn’t everything. Much of what we do in life is motivated by money. We have to pay mortgages or rent, put groceries on the table and gas in the car, enjoy a night out now and then or a vacation somewhere, anywhere that’s away from home. After all, we deserve it, right? We work hard and barely have a moment to call our own. Therein lies the rub. Having time to reflect on what you’re doing and where you’re going needs to be at the top of your agenda. Otherwise, you run the risk of waking up one morning, scratching your head, and asking yourself, “Where did the last fifteen years go?” What I’m saying is well-paying jobs may help you afford a better lifestyle, but at what cost? Choosing a career that allows more freedom to be who you really are is truly worth the small sacrifices you might have to make.

• Figure out where your best interests are and go there. What motivates us to take different paths falls into any number of categories. Perhaps we choose a job because the schedule suits our family’s needs or we can use the insurance benefits. Maybe you are thinking ahead to your retirement and saying to yourself, “Just a few more years and, aaaah, I’ll be free.”

Of course, I know we have to be responsible first and foremost—we are women, after all. But before you sign your life away, consider all the available avenues. I believe that when there’s a will, there’s a way, to use an old cliché. Make sure you have exhausted your options before you settle. And then if you do come to the conclusion that where you are is where you have to stay, enrich your life in other ways. Who knows? A new path just might open for you.

• Remember your dreams. We’ve all had plenty. Maybe they’re buried under dusty cobwebs now, but it’s never too late to bring them out into the open again, dust them off, and find the glimmer of hope that sparked each one. Perhaps you’ll decide the dreams you once had don’t matter anymore—and maybe they don’t. But the simple act of opening up our heart to the possibilities that life once promised can awaken new dreams. And to paraphrase Robert Browning, “Ah, but a woman’s reach should exceed her grasp, or what’s a heaven for?”

• Surround yourself with positive people. Let’s start with you. What kind of face do you present to the world each day? Are you grouchy, bitter, in a bad mood? Or does your smile sparkle and shine, beaming out to a world that needs a fresh dose of sunshine? Isn’t it true that when you smile at strangers, most times they’ll smile back? And how hard is it to show a little kindness to someone?  Share a kind word or deed every day this week, and truly you will lift yourself up.

As for your community of friends and colleagues, take a moment to consider what lies behind the suits and the make up.  Do you even know what they’re like deep inside? Have you ever talked about the meaning of life? Or the purpose of suffering? Or how we can make the world a better place? Talk about these things, and you will open yourself up to new awareness. We are where we are at this time in history for a reason. Think about what your reason for being is, and then you can begin to seek fulfillment.

As you can tell, a few thoughts have been brewing in my head. I don’t pretend to know all the answers in life, but I do like to ask questions. The answers are stepping stones, don’t you think? Good luck as you discover what it is that floats your boat. Just make sure you’re at the helm, steering toward your destiny.

Peggy Sijswerda is editor & publisher of Tidewater Women.