Well Being

Rules for Living

Values and opinions guide our lives and give us rules for living. Usually we pick up our values in childhood from our families, blindly swallowing other people’s opinions without question. Many of us graduate to adulthood still following these hand-me-down beliefs. But without questioning and developing our own values and…
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Such a Little Thing

As a psychotherapist, I often hear something along the lines of “I feel so stupid, this is such a little thing, but…” My ears perk up because this sheepishness tells me we are about to get into some very crucial stuff. Most of the time what follows has something to…
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My Spiritual Advisor Pt. 3

Three years ago this month, my spiritual advisor left this world, his head on my lap as I rubbed his ears. His fur was soft, and his job was done. I had become a better person. If you have been reading this column for a while, you will remember Ernie,…
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Connecting to Your Core

We all have a life-loving core self deep in the center of our being. This healthy core self wants to both express its interests and connect emotionally with other people. It creates your individuality and draws you into relationship. When we follow its inspiration, we feel balanced and whole. We…
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Emotional Immaturity

Emotional development is invisible to the eye because it is hidden by appearances. Give a man a beard and a business suit, and we assume he is as grown-up on the inside as he looks on the outside. Likewise, at first glance a full-grown woman will appear to have inner…
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Respect Your Soul

As a psychologist, I used to keep a clean line between psychological and spiritual matters. I stayed on my side and let religion handle the rest. I used psychological terms like true self instead of soul to refer to the deepest part of a person. But sometimes soul is the…
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Crossing Boundaries

Remember the expression, “No good deed goes unpunished?” To me, this is a fascinating and, on the face of it, completely illogical statement. Why would the noble intention of a good deed end up so badly when you “just wanted to help”? The answer lies in the murky world of…
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