Culinary Program Changes Lives

Fourteen high school seniors from across Hampton Roads woke up on February 22, 2017, prepared for battle in a culinary competition that could be a game changer. The results of the competition would determine the path they would take after graduating high school. The Career through Culinary Arts Program (C-CAP) is changing the lives of students across the country by giving them a chance to pursue their dreams in the culinary field. Read all about how C-CAP has helped local students in this month’s Tidewater Women cover story, Culinary Program Changes Lives.

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A Date with Nature

You don’t have to break the bank to take your family on a nature vacation. So make A Date with Nature today and plan an outing to one of our beautiful local parks with your family. Tidewater Family’s Leia Safshekan tells us some of her family’s favorite spots and some useful tips for visiting them in this month’s cover story!

Also check out TF’s website for more tips + our Go-To Guides to help you be the best parent you can be: We’d love to connect with you through social media so find us on FacebookTwitter and Instagram. Tag your messages, posts, tweets, and grams #tidewaterfamily and let’s chat!

Let's Get Healthy with Tidewater Women!

As you probably know, today’s women are vitally interested in their health and well being. Since your business helps women become healthier and more fit, Tidewater Women’s June issue is the perfect place for you to get the word out about your business in our 2017 Healthy Body Guide!

Want to give our readers a little more? Women love to hear the stories behind successful women in our community. Knowing who their health providers are helps women make decisions regarding their health care as well as their family’s. A WOMEN IN HEALTH advertorial in TW is your chance to let your personality shine through, as well as share your areas of expertise. You can choose between a 1/3-page advertorial with a 250-word article, your photo, and contact info. or the full-page option with a 500-word article, three photos, and contact info.

By the way, according to TW’s recent readership survey, 26 percent of TW readers plan to seek a new doctor or dentist in the next 12 months. It’s the perfect time to reach out to these women.

Reserve your space in this special issue today. Call 757-204-4688, or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Deadline is May 18, 2017.

Go Green with Tidewater Family!

Now more than ever, parents are concerned about creating a safe environment for their children. They want to ensure that their homes are free of toxins, that the food their family eats is pesticide-free, hormone-free, and non-GMO, that the products they buy and the businesses they patronize support sustainable living practices. 

This June Tidewater Family will feature helpful editorial about healthy, eco-friendly living. We’ll also feature our special 2017 Green Living Guide. It’s the perfect opportunity to get the word out about your eco-friendly business, health food restaurant, or health care practice to an ideal demographic.

Don’t miss your chance to appear in our ever-popular Summer Fun Guide, where parents look to find the best summer camp opportunities for their children. There’s still time! Tidewater Family’s June issue will feature our Summer Fun guide one last time for the year. Make sure parents know what fun and exciting camps you offer!

Align your business with the region’s only monthly print magazine for parents. Advertising in TF shows you care about area parents and the challenges of raising kids in the 21st century. Deadline for this special issue is May 15, 2017. Call 757-204-4688 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to reserve space.

Girlfriend Getaway or Cool Colorado?

Richmond is perfect for a girlfriend getaway filled with swoon-worthy food and drinks, myriad attractions, and it’s just a short drive away. Soak up some of Richmond’s hip, trendy vibe with Peggy in this month’s TW travel story, Richmond Girlfriend Getaway.

Or, take a trip with Peggy to Cool Colorado, where the mountains are like magnets, inviting you to ski, hike, bike, or enjoy a perfect picnic in a fern-filled glade where a waterfall washes your worries away. Let’s go! 

Even though 18-year-old high school senior Rebecca Thomas had been preparing for this moment since December, she still felt “sheer panic” when the date for the culinary arts cooking competition arrived. Stakes were high. Winners of the competition would be offered scholarships to some of the country’s most prestigious cooking schools.

Rebecca started cooking for her family when she was 12. It was Thanksgiving, and her older sister’s health prevented her from baking holiday desserts. After receiving compliments for her efforts, Rebecca knew that she wanted to continue cooking and creating in the kitchen. Now her skill and talent would be tested. “Knowing that so much is riding on it is nerve-racking,” she said.

An honor student at Norview High School in Norfolk, Rebecca began taking culinary arts classes during her sophomore year. While cooking is her passion, Rebecca has many other interests. Outside of school, she’s been an active Girl Scout since she was eight and continues to be a role model in Girl Scouts for the younger troops. At Norview she’s a member of the National Honor Society and the National Art Honor Society and is president of her school’s chapter of Family Career Community Leaders of America (FCCLA). She also plays varsity field hockey and swims on Norview’s swim team.

But cooking is what she loves most of all.

Rebecca would be competing in the annual Careers through Culinary Arts Program (C-CAP) Cooking Competition for Scholarships Finals. C-CAP is a not-for-profit curriculum enrichment program that helps students who aspire to enter the culinary field. Let’s learn more about C-CAP and the students whose lives it is changing.


In 1990, cookbook author and educator Richard Grausman piloted a program in twelve New York City high schools to teach French cooking in home economics classes. His intention was to teach American youth about the satisfaction and value of home cooking. The schools were all inner-city high schools filled with underserved students. Richard soon realized that too many of these students lacked job skills or college prospects. What they needed was preparation for jobs with a future, like those in the culinary industry.

To fulfill this need, Richard created the nonprofit Careers through Culinary Arts Program (C-CAP). His goal was to enhance the culinary arts curriculum in public schools and better prepare underserved students for college and career opportunities in the restaurant and hospitality industry. C-CAP has operated continuously for over 25 years and has made a difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands of young people.

“C-CAP was founded on my love for French cooking and my desire to help others,” Richard explained. “Little did I know that the combination would change the lives of so many young people. What pleases me most is to see our graduates, with successful careers, giving back in their own way.”

Today, C-CAP operates in seven locations across the country, including Hampton Road. Besides holding cooking competitions for scholarships, C-CAP provides job training and internships, teacher support, college advising, lifetime career guidance, and product donations to classrooms. The organization works with over 150 public high schools, 220 teachers, and 17,000 students annually.


Rebecca, along with fourteen high school seniors from across Hampton Roads, woke up on February 22, 2017, prepared for battle in a culinary competition that could be a game changer. The results of the competition would determine the path they would take after graduating high school. These competitors were nearing the finish line. They earned their spot in the finals based upon their performance at the preliminary round a few weeks earlier at the Art Institute of Virginia Beach.

The competitors had been practicing for months at their schools with their C-CAP chef-instructor or teacher. They prepared the chicken at home for their families if the budget allowed. If not, they purchased potatoes to perfect the classical tournée technique, which turns a potato into a seven-sided football. The students accepted constructive criticism from their instructors and families to become better and faster at the skills they would need to win one of the scholarship awards being offered, valued at $1,000 to over $120,000.

This year’s C-CAP Cooking Competition for Scholarships would be held at Stratford University Virginia Beach campus. Nervous and excited, the 15 students arrived wearing their professional chef’s attire and carrying their pans and knives. They set up in numbered spaces at the stainless steel tables in the modern, spacious kitchen. Before the competition began, C-CAP’s founder, Richard Grausman, who flew in from NY, offered some sage advice: “Watch your temperature zones. Start strong and finish strong. Keep your workspace clean. Watch cross contamination, and use gloves for ready-to-eat food.”

It was time to begin. The students commenced preparing a two-course French-inspired meal from memory, and they had two hours to complete the meal. The menu included Hunter’s Chicken with tournée potatoes and dessert crepes with pastry cream and chocolate sauce. As the young chefs worked, the sounds of eggs cracking and whisks clinking accompanied the thudding sounds of chopping. The scent of fresh garlic and shallots wafted through the air. As the students prepared the crepes, the air in the kitchen became sweet and buttery. Periodically, someone called out how many minutes were remaining. You could cut the tension with a knife.


Rebecca was one of the winners. Her skills and talents as a chef netted her a full-tuition scholarship at the Culinary Institute of New York at Monroe College, a bachelor’s degree program valued at $54,240. Rebecca also earned a $1,500 C-CAP cash scholarship for other educational needs.

Holding back tears, Rebecca said C-CAP is the only reason she’s able to pursue a career in the culinary field. “We couldn’t afford any culinary school,” she said. “I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without C-CAP.” Through tears of joy and thankfulness, she continued, “The competition was a confidence boost that other people—besides my chef-instructor, Tia Felton, who cares about me—liked what I do.” 

The largest scholarship recipient from this year’s competition was Marissa Ward, who became interested in cooking when her family took in three foster siblings and her family of five became eight. She described her home life as chaotic, so she took over the family dinner responsibilities to help her mother and found that she really liked cooking. Marissa earned a full-tuition scholarship to Johnson & Wales University for the bachelor degree, valued at $121,584.

“C-CAP changed my life!” said Marissa. “It means that I don’t have to worry every day how I’m going to accomplish my dreams or get where I want to in life…C-CAP provided me an opportunity to work for what I wanted and to be where I want in life. It really helped me get there.” 

Locally C-CAP students support our community by helping other organizations raise funds for worthy causes. Executive Chef Jesse Wykle of Zoës Steak and Seafood Restaurant in Virginia Beach has worked with C-CAP students and alumni over the years, assisting at events such as the Chesapeake Bay Wine Classic Foundation Grand Auction and Wine, Women & Fishing Tournament Wine Dinner. He’s also hired C-CAP students and alumni to work for him at Zoës. “I have more confidence in a graduating C-CAP student than I do with most college culinary students,” Jesse said.  “Learning the true meaning of hospitality through C-CAP at an early age is crucial. Hard working, driven, reliable—all sum up how I feel about these kids.”

C-CAP has supported the Girl Scouts’ annual fundraiser, Samoa Soiree, since its inception. Stacy Nixon, the local council’s philanthropy director, said C-CAP students were a huge help at the recent Samoa Soiree 2017. “They were professional, courteous, and generous with their time—from setting up tables to assisting chefs to event breakdown,” said Stacy. “They are a fantastic partner.”

Tammy Goetz Jaxtheimer has worked in foodservice since she was 12 years old and has been involved with C-CAP Hampton Roads for over 25 years, serving as director of the local program for 13 years. Since 1999 Tammy has written restaurant reviews for The Virginian-Pilot. She has always had a love affair with food and appreciates how it can bring people together—and often heal what ails you.

Welcome to Tidewater Women’s May 2017 calendar of events!

Monday     1

Bike Nights - 4-7 p.m. Nightly thru 10/15. ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

VB Bee Club - 6:30 p.m. Every 1st Mon. Learn about backyard beehives. Croc’s 19th St. Bistro This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. (VB)

Monday Yoga Flow - 10-11:30 a.m. Every Mon. ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Lunchtime Meditation - 12:15-12:45 p.m. Most Mon. ($) Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 156 Newtown Rd. #A2 504-4425 (VB)

Saints Alive Senior Chorus - 12:30 p.m. Every Mon. St. Paul’s UMC, 437 Providence Rd. 543-5721 (C)

Yoga for Special Needs - 4:30-5:45 p.m. Every Mon. A class for those w/physical challenges. RR ($) Wells Therapeutics 313-4962 (VB)

Yoga/Functional Fitness - 5:30-6:50 p.m. Ages 50-80. Open level classes on alt. Mon. ($) Old Donation Episcopal Church 464-0250 (VB)

Sophisticated Steppers - 5:45-7:15 p.m. Every Mon. Seniors dance. ($) Cuffee Community Ctr., 2019 Windy Rd., 382-6411 (C)

Functional Forum - 6:30 p.m. 1st Mon. Get the latest health news. Holistic Family Practice 685-4325 (VB)

Peace Circle Group w/ Rev. Laura - 7-8:30 p.m. 1st Mon. Unity Church of Tidewater, 5580 Shell Rd. 804-818-6084 (VB)

Drum Circle - 7-10 p.m. Every Mon. Donations accepted. Mystic Moon, 3365 N. Military Hwy. 855-3280 (N)

Tuesday     2

Yoga in the Galleries - 8:45-9:45 a.m. Every Tues. RR ($) Chrysler Museum 664-6200 (N)

Women’s Leadership Forum - 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Hear successful women discuss leadership + lunch. Spon. by Va. Pen. Chamber. RR ($) Tucanos Brazilian Grill 325-8165 (H)

Keep Me in Stitches - 2-5 p.m. Every Tues. Knit & crochet for cancer patients. Grace Comm. Church, 1725 Salem Rd. 404-6593 (VB)

Cooperative Co-Parenting – 4-8 p.m. Every 1st Tues. Prevent problems related to divorce. RR ($) 135 Hall Ave., 624-6666 (S)

Student Visual Art Exhibit Reception - 5-6:30 p.m. Exhibit of Holocaust-themed art by students gr. 6-12 on display thru 5/31. ODU Va. Beach 368-4100 (VB)

Peppy Steppers - 5:45-7:15 p.m. Every Tues. Seniors dance. ($) Western Branch Community Center 382-6411 (C)

Mindful Living Workshop - 6:30-8 p.m. Also 5/9 RR ($) Wells Therapeutics, 319 Edwin Dr. #103 490-9488 (VB)

Magic of Harmony Show Chorus Rehearsals - 7-9 p.m. Every Tues. Visitors welcome. Tabb High School Chorus Rm., 4431 Big Bethel Rd. 566-8600 (Y)

In-Depth Study Program - 7-9:30 p.m. Every Tues. Meditation, chanted prayers & more. ($) Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Ctr. 504-4425 (VB)

Wednesday     3

Skippers Farm Market - 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Every Wed. thru Nov. 1. 748 Battlefield Blvd. N. 368-0355 (C)

Glad Helpers Healing Prayer Group - 9:30 a.m.-noon. A.R.E. 428-3588 (VB)

Harmony and Fitness Yoga - 9:30 a.m. Every Wed. ($) The Elizabethan Gardens 473-3234 (Manteo) 

Chesapeake Social & Newcomers Club - 11 a.m.-1 p.m. 1st Wed. RR ($) Traditions Grill, Chesapeake Golf Club 966-9000 (C)

Dolphin Discoveries - 2 p.m. Also Fri., Sat., Sun. Times vary. RR ($) Va. Aquarium 385-FISH (VB)

Food Truck Hump Days - 4 p.m.-dusk. 1st & 3rd Wed. thru 9/20. Gourmet fare + live entertainment. Battlefield Park 408-2245 (C)

Halo/Salt Yoga - 5:30 p.m. 1st & 3rd Wed. ($) Rejuvenations Salt Spa 227-6117 (C)

OBC Trivia Night – 6-8 p.m. 1st Wed. Beer, trivia, and prizes. ($) O’Connor Brewing Co. 623-2337 (N)

Crocheting - 10 a.m.-noon. Seniors. Every Wed. Bring supplies. South Norfolk Community Center 543-5721 (C)

Weekly Drop-In Meditation Class - 6:30-8 p.m. Most Wed. ($) Fred Heutte Center, 1000 Botetourt Gardens 504-4425 (N)

Thursday     4

Paint 4 Fun - 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Every Thurs. Seniors. Self-guided painting. River Crest Community Center 436-3100 (C)

Great Dismal Swamp Safari - 9:30 am.-1:30 p.m. Also 5/21 & 25. Learn about history and wildlife. RR ($) Great Dismal Swamp NWR 514-4130 (S)

American Red Cross Blood Drive - 10 a.m.-4 p.m. CRMC Lifestyle Ctr. Make appt. at (C)

Ask the Artist - 5:30 p.m. Every Thurs. Engage with works of art through artist talks. d’ART Center 625-4211 (N)

NAMI Family-to-Family - 6:30-9 p.m. Every Thurs. thru 6/1. Free 12-session class for family and friends of those living with mental illness. RR Norfolk Community Services Board, 225 W. Onley Rd. 581-9262 (N)

Weekly Drop-In Meditation Class - 7-8:30 p.m. Most Thurs. Guided meditation & discussion. ($) Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 156 Newtown Rd. #A2 504-4425 (VB)

Travis Scott and Khalid - 7 p.m. Hip-hop fans will enjoy this award-winning lineup. ($) Portsmouth Pavillion 393-8181 (P)

Va. Symphony: Music of Star Wars - 7:30 p.m. May the force be with you! ($) Chrysler Hall 664-6464 (N)

Friday     5         

Soul Journey Conference - Call for times. Thru Sun. RR ($) A.R.E. 428-3588 (VB)

Starting a Home Apothecary - 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Learn about healing plants + lunch. RR ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

Friendly Friday Yoga Flow - 10-11:30 a.m. Every Fri. All levels. ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Resume 101 - 10:30 a.m. 1st Fri. RR Little Creek Library 441-1751 (N)

Spring Home & Garden Tour - 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Tours homes & enjoy specialty foods and wines. RR Atlantic Shores 716-3000 (VB)

Senior Writing Class - 12 p.m. 1st and 3rd Fri. Larchmont Library 441-5335 (N)

Seasoned and Sassy - 2 p.m. Every Fri. Get active & socialize! Black Library 441-5806 (N)

Concert in the Courtyard - 5-8 p.m. 1st Fri. Portsmouth Art & Cultural Ctr. 393-8543 (P)

Cinco De Mayo - 5-8:30 p.m. Refreshments & music. MacArthur Center 627-6000 (N)

Meditation: Unwind the Mind - 5:30-6:15 p.m. Most Fri. A perfect way to end the week. ($) Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 156 Newtown Rd. #A2 504-4425 (VB)

First Friday Street Party - 5-8:30 p.m. Music + food trucks. TCC Plaza, 300 Block of Granby St. 623-1757 (N)

Cinco in the City - 6-9 p.m. Mexican fiesta with music, food & fun. City Center at Oyster Point 926-1400 (NN)

Night of Gratitude - 6:30-9 p.m. An evening to support H.E.R. Shelter with TED speaker Leslie Morgan Steiner. RR ($) Hilton The Main, 100 East Main Street 485-1445 (N)

First Friday Healing Sanctuary - 7:25 p.m. Most first Fri. thru Nov. Emmanuel Episcopal Church, 5181 Singleton Way 932-5263 (VB)

Paint Night - 7:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 1st Fri. ($) Downing Gross Cultural Art Ctr. 247-8950 (NN)

A Night of Hope with Joel Osteen - 7:30 p.m. Scope ($) 664-6464 (N)

Va. Arts Festival: Jazz at Lincoln Center - 8 p.m. With Wynton Marsalis. ($) Chrysler Hall 282-2822 (N)

Saturday     6

Old Beach Farmers Market - 8 a.m.-noon. Every Sat. Local produce, meat, baked goods & more. 19th & Cypress 428-5444 (VB)

Farmers’ Market - 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Every Sat. Olde Towne Portsmouth 397-6395 (P)

Farmers’ Fare Market - 9 a.m.-noon. Every Sat. Fresh veggies + more. 4730 Hammock La. (N)

Suffolk Farmers’ Market - 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Every Sat. Suffolk Visitor Center Pavilion 514-4130 (S)

Plant and Flower Sale - 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Spon. by Woman’s Club. Smithfield Auto and Truck Center, 928 S. Church St. 869-9028 (S)

Old Towne Flea Market - 10 a.m.-2 p.m. 1st Sat. Middle St. Garage 339-1876 (P)

Atlantic Coast Kite Festival - 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Best Kite contest, demos & more. 16th-18th St. 385-7873 (VB)

Fort Huger Civil War Walking Tour - 10-11 a.m. RR Fort Huger, 15080 Talcott Terrace 373-0115 (Smithfield)

Create Your Own Milk Chocolate Bar - 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 1st Sat. Choose fun toppings and decorate the box. ($) The Royal Chocolate 557-6925 (VB)

Tuner Fest Car Show -11 a.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy an auto show with live music. Portsmouth Pavilion Plaza 393-8181 (P)

Karma Workshop - 1-5 p.m. Learn how actions matter. RR ($) Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 156 Newtown Rd., #A2 504-4425  (VB)

Cinco by the Sea - 2-10 p.m. Salute Mexico with music & food. 31st St. Park 385-7873 (VB)

The Muse Write-In - 2:30-4 p.m. Every 2nd Sat. Join other writers for inspiration and practice. Slover Library 431-7462 (N)

Sunset & Moonlight Paddles - 6:15-8:15 p.m. & 8:30-10:30 p.m. RR ($) Hoffler Creek Wildlife Preserve 686-8684 (P)

Pete Seeger: The Storm King - 8 p.m. ($) The American Theater 722-2787 (H)

Sunday     7

Game Day - 7 a.m.-9 p.m. Every Sun. Whole Foods, 1800 Laskin Rd. 422-0444 (VB)

JFS Run, Roll or Stroll - Check-in @ 6:45-7:45 a.m. Race @ 8 a.m. + after-party. Proceeds benefit JFS. ($) 24th St. Park (VB)

Atlantic Coast Kite Festival - 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Demos & more. City Park 393-8543 (P)

Prayers for World Peace - 10:30 a.m.-noon. Every Sun. Keajra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 156 Newtown Rd. #A2 504-4425 (VB)

Dog Walk & Festival - 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Raise funds for Suffolk Humane Society + games/contests. Bennett’s Creek Park 538-3030 (S)

Drag Yourself to Brunch - 11 a.m. & 2 p.m. Every Sun. Age 18+ High-energy entertainment from female impersonators. RR ($) Croc’s 19th Street Bistro 428-5444 (VB)

Group Life Coaching & Hypnosis - 1-3 p.m. Every Sun. Manifest your dreams. RR ($) 101 N. Lynnhaven Rd. #205 729-2716 (VB)

Bike Fest at Dismal Swamp - 1-4 p.m. Bike 12+ miles of paved trails. 1200 Dismal Swamp Canal Trail 382-6411 (C)

History Program - 2 p.m. Learn about the wealthy Cocke family. ($) Isle of Wight County Museum 356-1223 (Smithfield)

Symphonicity in Concert - 3 p.m. Conducted by Theodore Kuchar. ($) Sandler Ctr. 671-8611 (VB)

Tuesday     9

Women’s Leadership Breakfast - 8 a.m. RR ($) TCC Chesapeake 822-5266 (C)

Cooperative Co-Parenting – 5-9 p.m. Every 2nd Tues. Prevent potential problems. RR ($) 424 W. 21st St., 624-6666 (N)

25 Mics: Spoken Word and Open Mic Night - 7-8:30 p.m. Every 2nd Tues. Downing-Gross Cultural Arts Center 247-8950 (NN)

Wednesday    10

Croc’s Cooking Class - 6 p.m. 2nd Wed. Incl. tastings and wine. RR ($) Croc’s 19th Street Bistro 428-5444 (VB)

Healthcare Education for the Future - 7 p.m. Dr. James Young of Cleveland Clinic. Spon, by JFS. RR Chrysler Museum 321-2235 (N)

Thursday     11

ARBORIA - 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Thru 5/14. An immersive labyrinth in which visitors encounter light, shapes, and design. Spon. by Nauticus. ($) Town Point Park 664-1000 (N)

City Center Farmers’ Market - 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Every Thurs. City Center at Oyster Point 873-2020 (NN)

Waterside District Grand Opening - Thru Sun. Music & more. 333 Waterside Drive (N)

Pink Bag Lunch - 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Spon. by Va. Pen. Chamber. RR ($) 21 Enterprise Parkway #100 325-8165 (H)

Chesapeake HeartChase - 5 p.m. Join a community adventure game for a good cause at Chesapeake City Park. Sign up and more info: (C)

HR Writers: Show and Grow your Prose - 5:30-9 p.m. Registration for readers required. Audience welcome. Gus and George’s, 4312 Va. Beach Blvd. 639-6146 (VB)

Art After Dark - 6-8 p.m. 2nd Thurs. Enjoy food and drinks, music, and more. Peninsula Fine Arts Center 596-8175 (NN)

Summer Exhibit Opening - 6:30-8:30 p.m. Celebrate “Southern Routes,” meet artists & enjoy fine fare. ($) Va. MOCA 425-0000 (VB)

Living True to Your Nature - 7-8 p.m. Meditation, visualization, and more w/Carylanne. ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Friday     12

Spiritual Wholeness Conference - Call for times. Thru Sun. RR ($) A.R.E. 428-3588 (VB)

Monsters on the Beach - Times vary. Thru Sun. See monster trucks battle for ultimate sand domination. ($) 5th-7th St. 385-7873 (VB)

Va. Arts Festival: Fringe Fest - 5 -10 p.m. Cont. Sat. Music, food trucks, craft beer & more. ($) ViBe Creative District 202-9533 (VB)

Va. Int’l PAN Fest - 6-10 p.m. Cont. Sat. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Enjoy steel pan music. 24th St. Park 385-7873 (VB)

Norfolk Notable Cemetery Tour - 6-8 p.m. Tour the graveyard to learn about Elmwood’s most notable residents. Donations accepted.  Elmwood Cemetery 621-3710 (N) 

Muse Jam - 7-10 p.m. Every 2nd Fri. Read your work, play music, or just listen. Muse Writers Center 818-9880 (N)

Sound Empowerment Circle - 7-8:30 p.m. ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Calendar Girls - 8 p.m. Thru June 4. Dates & times vary. Heartwarming play about friendship. ($) Little Theatre of VB 428-9233 (VB)

Saturday     13

Divorce Seminar - 8:30-10 a.m. 2nd Sat. Legal, financial, & emotional aspects of divorce. ($) 2 locations: Hilton Garden Inn, 180 Regal Way (NN) & VB Friends Mtg. House, 1537 Laskin Rd. (VB) RR 456-1574

River Cleanup - 9 a.m.-noon. 2nd Sat. Locations vary. Spon. by LRN. 962-5398 (VB)

Ocean Collection - 9-10:15 a.m. Cruise with educators & collect local fish and invertebrates. RR ($) Va. Aquarium 385-FISH (VB)

Boater Safety Course - 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Ages 13+. RR S. Norfolk Comm. Ctr. 382-1359 (C)

4 Arts Festival - 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Celebrate visual, performing, literary, and musical arts. Olde Towne 405-3500 (P)

Strawberry JAMboree - 10 a.m.-4 p.m. U-pick berries, hayrides, more. Hickory Ridge Farm, 2928 S. Battlefield Blvd. 560-6763 (C)

Mother’s Day Celebration - 10 a.m.-2 p.m. City Center at Oyster Point 873-2020 (NN)

SUN-days - 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Observe the heart of our solar system with Back Bay Astronomers. Elizabeth River Park 382-6411 (C)

Market Music & Art - 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Hear music and watch glass lamp-work demos. Portsmouth Art & Cultural Ctr. 393-8543 (P)

Halo/Salt Yoga - 10:15 a.m. 2nd Sat. ($) Rejuvenations Salt Spa 227-6117 (C)

Chesapeake Romance Writers Meeting - 10:30 a.m. 2nd Sat. Russell Memorial Library 410-7020 (C)

National Council of Negro Women - 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. 2nd Sat. Stanhope House, 2715 Stanhope Ave. 409-3342 (N)

Street Fair - 12-7 p.m. Carnival games, music, and beer. Kids, dogs, and grandmas welcome. Smartmouth Brewing Co. 624-3939 (N)

Evening with The Reckless Maybes - 7-9 p.m. Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Storyweavers - 7-9 p.m. Enjoy the downtown scene. Starving Artist Café 305-9290 (N)

Virginia Symphony: The British Isles - 8 p.m. A colorful collection of music with roots in the British Isles. ($) Regent U. 466-3060 (VB)

Va. Arts Festival: Dido and Aeneas - 8 p.m. A provocative story told with music and dance. ($) Sandler Center 282-2822 (VB)

Sunday     14

Second Sundays Williamsburg - 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Enjoy living history, artisans & more. Merchant’s Square 879-3029 (W)

Mother’s Day Special - Noon-5 p.m. Moms get in free w/a paying adult or child. ($) Nauticus 664-1000 (N)

The Temptations and The Four Tops - 6:30 p.m. Motown legends perform their hits. ($) Portsmouth Pavilion 800-745-3000 (P)

Monday     15

Military Women of Tidewater, Unit 152 - 6-8 p.m. Monthly support & volunteer activities. Open to all branches: active, retired, veterans. VFW 4809, 5728 Bartee St. 472-5799 (N)

Tuesday     16

Psychic Lecture - 10 a.m.-noon. A.R.E. 428-3588 (VB)

C’Mon Get Happy Luncheon - 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. 3rd Tues. RR Uno’s Pizzeria & Grill, 5900 VB Blvd. 635-5379 (VB)

Movie Night - 4:30 p.m. 3rd Tues. Enjoy movie snacks! Black Library 441-5806 (N)

MOCA Nights - 5-9 p.m. 3rd Tues. Open-mic performances, tours, art-making, and cash bar. ($) Va. MOCA 425-0000 (VB)

Family and Friends Support Group - 6 p.m. 3rd Tues. Learn how to support a loved one in an abusive relationship. Perry Safe Harbor Ctr., 2620 Southern Blvd. 631-0710 (VB)

HRCAP Awards Banquet - 7-10 p.m. Celebrate our mission to help area low-income neighborhoods. RR ($) NN Marriott at City Center 247-0379 (NN)

Bourbon, Burgers & Bingo - 6-9 p.m. 3rd Tues. RR ($) Croc’s 19th St. Bistro 428-5444 (VB)

Oneness Blessing - 7-8 p.m. 3rd Tues. Move into a higher state of consciousness. Donation. Wells Therapeutics 225-1496 (VB)

Todd Rundgren in Concert - 7 p.m. ($) Sandler Ctr. 385-2787 (VB)

Wednesday     17

Senior Advocate Round Table - 12-1 p.m. 3rd Wed. RR Va. Peninsula Chamber of Commerce 262-2000 (H)

Protect Your Assets - 2 p.m. & 6 p.m. RR Central Library 490-3500 (VB)

Senior Advocate Round Table - 4-6 p.m. 3rd Wed. Learn about services for seniors. HR Chamber 645-6364 (N)

Spiritual Conversations w/Rose Malone - 7-8:30 p.m. ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Thursday     18

Greek Festival - Times vary thru Sun. Fabulous food, drive-thru, arts, crafts and entertainment. Annunciation Cathedral, 7220 Granby St. 440-0500 (N)

Chesapeake Jubilee - Times vary thru Sun. Rides, music, fireworks, food vendors, etc. ($) City Park 482-4848 (C)

Beyond Words: Using Poetry - 12:30-3:30 p.m. Workshop for artists and caregivers of elderly. Spon. by TW Arts Outreach. RR ($) Riverside PACE 965-5155 (NN)

Sunset Paddle - 6-8 p.m. Equip. provided. RR ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

Prosper’s Poker Party - 6-11 p.m. Up the ante and raise money for Hope House during this poker tournament. RR ($) The Signature at West Neck 625-6161 (VB)

Family Health 101 - 6-7 p.m. Dr. Beth Jaklic, colorectal surgeon, discusses hemorrhoids. RR Ches. Regional Lifestyle Ctr. 312-5144 (C)

Conscious Dance - 7-8:15 p.m. Listen to your heart and let the music inspire you! ($) Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Friday     19

Caregiver Support Group - 12-1 p.m. 3rd Fri. For caregivers of the elderly. Nimmo UMC 422-1292 (VB)

Suds and Buds - 6-9 p.m. Enjoy a garden party with music, food & craft beer. ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

Beach Music Cruise-In - 7:30 p.m. Times vary thru Sun. Hot rods on display + cool beach music. 30th St. 385-7873 (VB)

Night Hike - 8-9 p.m. Closed toed shoes and flashlight req’d. RR ($) Sandy Bottom Nature Ctr. 825-4657 (H)

Saturday     20

Volunteer Service Day - 9-11 a.m. Help clean up the park and improve plantings. Paradise Creek Nature Park 399-7487 (P)

Old Beach Green Market - 9 a.m.-noon. 3rd Sat. Featuring produce, earth-friendly art & products. 19th & Cypress 428-5444 (VB)

HR Writers: Traveling Pen Series Workshop - 9:15 a.m.-noon. Learn about online marketing. ($) TCC Blackwater Bldg., Room CW-134 639-6146 (VB)

Elite Fleet Demo - 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Watch radio-controlled boats. Nauticus 664-1000 (N)

33rd Annual Stockley Gardens Spring Arts Festival - 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Cont. Sun. 120+ artists, music, kids’ activities and food vendors. Supports Hope House Foundation. Stockley Gardens 625-6161 (N)

6th Annual Pungo Wine Festival - 12-6 p.m. Wine tastings, craft beer, live music, and food. Proceeds benefit Connect With a Wish. ($) Back Bay Farms, 1833 Princess Anne Rd. 337-2657 (VB)

Pirate Party on the Beach - Call for times. Cont. Sun. Costume contests, games, and pirate re-enactors. 17th St. Park 385-7873 (VB)

Black & White Gala - 1-3 p.m. Get dressed up to raise money for Crusading Outreach programs. ($) Travinia’s Italian Kitchen & Wine Bar (NN)

Virginia Beer Festival - 2-6 p.m. Also Sun. 100+ beers, music, great food. ($) Town Point Park 282-2822 (N)

World Arts Celebration - 4-9 p.m. Music and exhibits depicting cultures around the world. City Center at Oyster Point 926-1400 (NN)

Genealogical Society Meeting - 6-9 p.m. 3rd Sat. Sept.-Jun. Central Lib. 385-0120 (VB)

Getting Frisky on the Wiskey - 7-11 p.m. Enjoy this fundraiser aboard the Battleship Wisconsin. ($) Nauticus 664-1000 (N)

SkyWatch - 7 p.m. View the galaxy with Back Bay Amateur Astronomers. Weather permitting. Northwest River Park 382-1359 (C)

Va. Arts Festival: Berlioz Requiem - 8 p.m. A towering masterwork of orchestral music + 140 singers. Conducted by JoAnn Falletta. ($) Chrysler Hall 282-2822 (N)

Sunday     21

Tour de Fort - 2-5 p.m. Explore the Fort by bike. Guided rides from 3-20 miles. Kids under 14 need helmets. RR Ft. Monroe 727-8311 (H)

Girls on the Run 5K Celebration - Festivities begin at noon. Race: 2 p.m. Support girls who run! RR ($) Va. Wesleyan 965-9040 (VB)

Sunset Cruise - 7-8:30 p.m. RR ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

Monday     22

Caregiver Support Group - 5:30 p.m. 4th Mon. RR Prime Plus, 7300 Newport Ave. 800-272-3900 (N)

Tuesday     23

Gardening for Wildlife - 9:30-11:30 a.m. RR ($) Norfolk Botanical Garden 441-5830 (N)

Wednesday     24

League of Women Voters Annual Meeting - 5:30 p.m. RR ($) Holiday Inn, 5655 Greenwich Rd. Visit for info. (VB)

Summer Concert Series - 6-9 p.m. Every Wed. thru 8/30. Enjoy a variety of music. Port Warwick 223-0284 (NN)

Awakenings: An Ecstatic Dance Journey - 7-8:15 p.m. Wells Therapeutics 490-9488 (VB)

Thursday     25

Spirit Message Circle - 6-8 p.m. With psychic medium J. Marie. RR A.R.E. 457-7231 (VB)

Sensible Seafood Fest - 7-10 p.m. Sample sustainable seafood created by talented local chefs. ($) Va. Aquarium 385-FISH (VB)

Friday     26

Flavor Fest - All day thru Mon. Get juicy deals on fruits and veggies. McDonald Garden Centers. Call 722-7463 for location nearest you.

27th Annual Umoja Festival - 5:15 p.m. Thru Sun. Times vary. Harbor Center Pavilion 393-5111 (P)

Food & Wine Festival - All day. Every Fri., Sat., Sun. thru 7/2. Enjoy authentic tastes from around the world while strolling through the world’s most beautiful theme park. ($) Busch Gardens 229-4386 (W)

Salute to Summer - Thru Sun. Times vary. Star-spangled salute to the military with music, fun in the sun & more. 17th, 24th & 31st St. Parks. 385-7873 (VB)

Craft Hope - 10:30 a.m. Every 4th Fri. Knit and crochet for charity. RR Little Creek Library 441-1751 (N)

Strange Happenings - 6:30-8 p.m. Victorian mourning and burial practices. Donations accepted. Elmwood Cemetery 621-3710 (N)

Saturday     27

Water Ways Exhibit Opening - 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Learn about our relationship with water at this Smithsonian traveling exhibit on view thru 7/9. ($) Virginia Living Museum 595-1900 (NN)

Cooperative Co-Parenting – 10 a.m.-2 p.m. 4th Sat. Recognize effects of divorce and prevent potential problems. RR ($) 424 W. 21st St., 624-6666 (N)

Mental Health Fair - 11 a.m.-5 p.m. To celebrate National Mental Health Month, join us for book discussions, youth empowerment groups, educational opportunities and more. Slover Library Rm. 650 664-7323 (N)

Bluegrass Concert - 7 p.m. Featuring Old Dogs New Tricks. Donations welcome. Hickory Ruritan Club, 2752 S. Battlefield Blvd. (C)

Va. Arts Fest: Joey Alexander Trio - 8 p.m. Be amazed by this talented 13-year-old pianist. ($) Roper Performing Arts Ctr.  282-2822 (N)

Sunday     28

Big Bands on the Bay - 7-9 p.m. Every Sun. thru 9/3. Ocean View Beach Park 441-2345 (N)

Monday     29

133rd Annual Memorial Day Parade - 10 a.m. Enjoy this Portsmouth tradition with floats, marching bands. High St. 393-5143 (P)

Movie Night - 5 p.m. Every last Mon. Call for titles. Larchmont Library 441-5335 (N)

Va. Arts Fest: Memorial Day Concert - 7:30 p.m. City Center at Oyster Point 873-2020 (NN)

 Please call to confirm.

($) Fee; RR - Reservations Req’d

(C) Chesapeake (H) Hampton  (N) Norfolk (NN) Newport News  (P) Portsmouth (S) Suffolk

(VB) Va. Beach (W) W’burg

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Tidewater Women’s Leia Safshekan-Bishop met with Chicago native Kimberli Gant, who was recently appointed curator of modern and contemporary art at the Chrysler Museum of Art in Norfolk. Kimberli holds an M.A. in art history from Columbia University and is pursuing her doctorate.

 TW: Where does you passion for art come from?

G: Osmosis. My parents collected art [and] took me to museums. I found out that my paternal grandmother was an illustrator. 

 TW: So it’s in the genes?

G: Maybe. Art was around. It was on the walls at my house. It was on the walls at my friend’s house.

 TW: Did you know that you wanted to work with art when you were in college?

G: No. A [humanities] professor put a lot of art into the class and it interested me. I was like “This is it!”—much to my parent’s chagrin. 

 TW: Did you work in the arts right out of college? 

G: No. I worked in marketing and advertising for several years. I bartended, too.

 TW: Meanwhile you kept knocking on doors, trying to build connections until you eventually found a gallery where you wanted to work.

G: I emailed the director for six months. We finally met for dinner, and there was a job opening. I said, “I’ll take the job!” I needed to be in that environment. 

 TW: What was that experience like?

G: It was an incredible learning experience. I learned the art of the art hustle. When you don’t have huge institutional support, you learn to find people who can help you. I learned to reach out others. I called curators and asked many questions. It was definitely a trial by fire, but it was the best thing. I learned so much—I became a jack-of-all-trades. 

 TW:  What did you learn during that time that you use in your current position?

G: I learned to think from the perspective of the other departments to understand their point of view. At a smaller institution, you don’t have the luxury of not communicating.

 TW: Did you know you wanted to be a curator?

G: I think the art world, unfortunately, is cloaked in mystery. No one really knows what a curator does. 

 TW: It’s become a verb for anything. I saw a grocery ad recently offering “curated meats."

G: “Curator” has a pop culture, skewed image…

 TW: Did your professors or advisors ever suggest curating as a career option? 

G: Universities are not pushing grads into museums. It’s not considered a successful position.

TW: I think we do a poor job of teaching kids about the jobs that are available in art. 

G: You can do so many “traditional” positions in a creative environment and stay within that world. We have accountants and administrators. You can have a “practical” job and still be in an art space.

 TW: There are so many things we forget to tell young people 

G: Yeah, like you can fail, too.

 TW: Absolutely. Which exhibits—excluding contemporary art—do you keep coming back to?

G: The Ancient Worlds gallery. I’m very drawn to that. 

 TW: It’s the ordinary objects that always get me. It’s strange to call a cup art, but art is everywhere.

G: It can be people quilting.

 TW: You work with a lot of international artists and art. You curated “Wondrous Worlds: Art & Islam Through Time & Place” and have an interest in African art. What draws you to these narratives?

G: So many exchanges spanning the globe are related, and we need to understand—to bring them to the forefront. We need to highlight these stories and conversations that you may not read in a history book.

 TW: What would you say to parents about introducing their children to art?

G: Bring them early. Let them see all the beautiful forms of expression in the world. Then teach them to support it. 

 For more information about current and upcoming exhibits at the Chrysler, visit

Leia Safshekan is a writer, military spouse, and mother, raising her family in Va. Beach. A California native, Leia likes reading and exploring nature with her family and dogs. Leia was awarded the Dickseski Prize for Fiction and is a student at ODU.

Whatever did we fill our time with before Facebook? In recent years, keeping track of people on our newsfeeds has become an obsession for many of us—and an incredible time sucker. What is the deal?

First of all, there’s never an end to the things we can discover on Facebook—and on the World Wide Web for that matter. It’s exhausting. But what does it all mean, really? And more importantly, what are we sacrificing when we spend hours a day online?

Fresh air and exercise, for one thing. Facebook not only makes us manic as we seek out more information! more interaction! more memes, photos, likes, friends! It also is contributing to our laziness and poor health habits. Get out of your chair and move, people. Stop sitting at the computer and/or staring at your phone. Life is passing you by.

Selfies are the perfect metaphor for this weird era we’re in. Of course, I’m guilty of taking occasional selfies, but posting them for the world to see seems so self-congratulatory. “Hey, everyone, look at me! I’m having fun!! Are you having as much fun as me?”

I think we all know we are caught in a monsoon of information. The question is what can we do about it? Can we go back to the way things were BF (Before Facebook)? Peter and I talked about it recently, and he thinks not. Once we have gotten used to this never-ending stream of information—useless as it may be— we will always want to stay in-the-know.

But honestly what are we learning? Are these random bits of information making a difference in our lives? I think not.

Personally, I wonder where this is all going. I like Facebook, same as everyone else, but I find myself feeling more and more manipulated when ads and sponsored posts come up in my newsfeed. It’s like subtle brainwashing, isn’t it? I don’t like it.

You might think it’s funny that I dislike Facebook ads since Tidewater Women is also an advertising platform. But there’s such a difference between the two. First, TW is a locally owned and operated business. Facebook? Nope. When businesses choose to advertise on Facebook, those dollars are headed to the West Coast. The other thing that concerns me is that everyone likes the “metrics” Facebook delivers, but how accurate is that information? What is a “reach” anyway and, more importantly, does it translate into business?

Recently I ran into a friend in Norfolk. We hadn’t seen each other in a while and spent a few minutes catching up. At one point she said, “Everyone I know reads Tidewater Women.” Why? TW is a feel-good magazine that helps women make sense of this crazy world. Plus it’s quiet, reflective, and non-intrusive. Reading TW is a choice people make, not something that’s crammed down your throat.

OK, enough ranting. Sorry, but sometimes it seems like we are losing touch with what’s real. Maybe it’s time to take a moment to go outside, feel the sun on our faces, and breathe.

Thanks for reading Tidewater Women and have a merry month!

Love, Peggy

Emotional development is invisible to the eye because it is hidden by appearances. Give a man a beard and a business suit, and we assume he is as grown-up on the inside as he looks on the outside. Likewise, at first glance a full-grown woman will appear to have inner maturity as well. 

If only we could get a snapshot of where they actually are in their emotional development! We would be astounded to see how many emotional children are passing as card-carrying adults. We might be horrified to see how many emotional three-, four-, and five-year-olds we are entrusting with our children, our bank accounts, and our futures.

Many of these psychological youngsters have educated adult brains capable of buying houses, driving cars, and making a living.The human brain can learn competencies and skills independently of one’s level of psychological maturity. Our brains are multifaceted, and highly trained parts can coexist alongside parts still so immature it would shock you to see it. 

To make it even trickier, emotionally immature people often imitate emotionally mature behaviors. However, their maturity is superficial and unreliable because they did not naturally evolve in a true process of maturation. A familiar example might be the man who sweeps a woman off her feet with sweet attentiveness, but then unravels into bad moods and irritability when the frustrations of real life come along. Or it could be the fun and sexy girl who inexplicably turns jealous and controlling.

Emotional immaturity shows up fast under the right kind of stress. This is one of the best reasons for taking time to get to know people before committing to them. The pressures of adversity and frustration will ultimately show the psychological age of the person you are dealing with. But what’s a quick way of telling who is emotionally mature and who is not?

If you know what to look for, emotionally mature people are readily recognizable. Emotionally mature people have their own interests and do not give you the impression that they are looking for someone to complete them. They have a track record of satisfying relationships and productive work before they met you. Their activity is motivated not by restless or driven energy, but by their own inner life. They care how other people feel. They experience gratitude and know when to apologize. They are able to truly listen and are interested in what you want to tell them. People like this feel safe and comfortable to interact with. In their presence, you don’t have to worry about being guilted, shamed, or exploited.

On the other hand, emotionally immature people pressure you to make things right for them. People who are very young inside crave exclusive attention from others in order to regulate their inner emotional states. Without the ability to stabilize themselves, emotionally immature people expect others to fix things for them, turning to emotional coercion as necessary. You feel you can’t say no or you will be judged, and you will feel wrong or selfish for having your own opinions and needs. Your job in the relationship is to meet their expectations—a non-stop task guaranteed to drain your energy. 

Understanding the characteristics of emotional immaturity is the best tool for coping with these people. You have to decide if it is worth it to put in the emotional work these people require, but you will take it less personally and stay calmer if you realize the true psychological age of the person you are dealing with. Some of these exhausting relationships have to be terminated for your own health, while less toxic ones may just need limits and leadership as you work toward outcomes that will be good for you, too. Your steadfastness in not allowing the other person to take over is crucial. It is a self-protection that must be fought for internally in nearly every interaction with an emotionally immature person.

Remember, they experience you as existing to make things better for them. But if you lose sight of your own needs and goals, your physical and emotional health will begin to suffer. You can’t re-parent a person whose development stopped years ago, but you can be a good parent to yourself and not allow your life to be dominated by someone else’s immaturity.

When you finally put a limit on someone’s unfair expectations, watch for the inevitable relief and sense of freedom that you will feel. Sometimes it is only when we start setting limits that we realize just how much we have been giving. It is then up to the other person to decide whether he or she will still be interested if the relationship becomes more fair and mutual. 

Lindsay Gibson, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist. For information, visit
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