Decisions, decisions. Sometimes I wish life didn’t involve so many choices. I admire people who always know what to do. They seem to make the right decisions every time, moving through the mazes of life with ease. I, on the other hand, am cursed with indecisiveness. I blame it on my astrological sign—Libra, which is symbolized by scales. Yep, I weigh everything to a fault.
You should see me in restaurants. I can never make up my mind what to order. Even when I go to the website in advance to check out the menu, I still stare at it once I’m at the restaurant and ponder my choices. I’ve been known to order a dish and then change my mind and ask the server if it’s too late to switch. Then I often end up wishing I’d stuck with my original order.
When it comes to big decisions, it’s even worse. Ask my husband. We go back and forth about house projects, travel plans, big purchases. Maybe that’s why Peter tends to buy things without telling me first—like once when he drove home in a big, fancy new truck, which he purchased (on a payment plan) without as much as a hint beforehand that he was going to buy it.
I guess he needed that truck and knew that I would want to analyze the pros and cons of purchasing it for a month at least, and he just wasn’t prepared to wait. I eventually forgave him for making this major purchase without my input. In retrospect, I kind of understand why he did it.
I’m also a little neurotic about planning things—like vacations. Our itineraries are often packed with activities, meals, and museums, and as a result, there’s little time for serendipity. I keep trying to change, to be more “chill,” to let things happen without feeling like I have to control everything.
Yep, that’s the operative word: control. I’m not sure where I developed this crazy idea that I can control every aspect of my life. The truth is I know I can’t. So why do I try? Habit, I guess.
It’s hard to break old habits, isn’t it? Change is inevitable, and being able to accept the things that happen in life often means the difference between being stressed and unhappy and feeling a sense of calm when life throws you a lemon or two. My goal is to learn to let go more, to just be, to not feel like everything has to go according to plan.
I’m learning to be a little more spontaneous. Not long ago Peter and I bought a little sailboat without really planning to. We came across this darling little 22’ Catalina while visiting friends on the Eastern Shore. It was old, but well cared for, and we just bought it. Since then we have spent many happy hours sailing in the waters off Willoughby Bay. In fact, sailing season is here again, and I can’t wait to raise the sails, turn off the motor, and let the wind blow us around.
I hope you fit in some spontaneity this month. Let the wind blow your cares away and be open to serendipitous moments. Life happens and sometimes it’s best to just let it.